My thoughts 2 months in....

For those of you who have never in your life gone to a country where it is so homogeneous that by simply having a different eye color you can be ostracized, then this is the blog for you. Japan is all Japanese people, and as such trying to blend in while being a study abroad student is not just impossible, it's downright lonely. No one will go out of their way to speak to you, in Japanese, English, or otherwise, unless it is for some random practice on the train during your commute. Evidently, according to the host families (note the plural), I am the pretty girl in this years batch of students, which leads me to SEVERAL more issues. One, I am blond and I stand out like a sore thumb without even trying. Two, pretty white girls=easy in the minds of the chauvinistic pigs that are the vast majority of Japanese males. Three, people talk to me alright, because it makes them look good when they talk to me. They don't give a damn what I say 90% of the time.

I am becoming increasingly emo, seeing that I cannot talk openly to ANYONE but the study abroad students and the Japanese people who studied abroad in Pittsburgh years ago. The one or two Japanese people that I CAN actually talk to, I am sure I annoy with my constant asking of them to hang out with me. It may seem illogical to them, but I really don't have many friends here in Japan that are free on any day but Sunday, so actually having someone to talk to during the week is refreshing. My schedule is tight, in fact, this is my only free weekend until December.

True, I brought one of those weekends upon myself. It is free, a free 4-day weekend, actually, so I made plans to go to Tokyo and reunite with Satomi, Masa, and Awate. I like Kansai, but Tokyo people ignore you no matter what you look like or dress like, so I am missing the blending in feeling, that of anonymity. When I go to Tokyo, my good friend John will be participating in Midnight Mess, which is essentially a gothic-metal-industrial celebration of all things twisted and weird. Much like myself. Needless to say, I will be dressing for the event as a punk lolita, though I need new tights seeing as I forgot to pack a pair. John, who calls himself both Count de Sang and Chi no Hakushaku (both meaning Count of Blood), is a member of the body suspension act in addition to the singing theatrical events. I am really looking forward to this, seeing as John might be one of the few people in this world who accepts all my little insanities not only with out question, he manages to top them all and make me feel normal. A reunion with Masa, Satomi and Awate would also be pleasant, since when Masa drinks too much he talks to garbage cans, Satomi just bounces around no matter what, and Awate touches people in very inappropriate ways. Laughs galore, no?

Slowly but surely I am missing everyone back home, from Lisa, Julie and my watching of Battle Royale to Louis forgetting his umbrella and still stumbling out into the rain, bookbag and all, in order to have dinner with me. Gloria and her little....dance thing? I think? to arguing with Kevin over the dumbest things like ranking our attractiveness. Jia being Jia is something I also miss whole-heartedly. All I seem to do anymore is sit in my room, watching horror movies or reading the books they are based on. I think I am slowly becoming hikkikomori, or at least an asshole. I am not a douche bag, though, that honor has been given to a Canadian.

When I ran spell check on this, hikkikomori came up as misspelled, and the spelling suggestion was quagmire. That made me laugh.